


The Return of the Thief

by Liza_Mondragon



Category: The Two Princes (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Please don't take this seriously lol, Poetry, Rupert Being a Badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24806758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza_Mondragon/pseuds/Liza_Mondragon
Summary: What if it was Rupert's memories taken by Malkia instead?A thing I wrote for April Fools' Day 2020.
Relationships: Prince Amir/Prince Rupert (Two Princes Podcast)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57





	The Return of the Thief

Now, you may know the original tale

Ever enduring was the love of two princes

Vines and thorns and monsters and trees

Even a fight to the death, so many near misses 

Royal wedding interrupted by a vengeful queen

Ghost armies and Amir's memories stolen

Oh, but what if we changed just one simple thing?

No, what if it was  _ Amir's _ heart that was broken?

Not wanting Amir hurt, his fiancé makes a deal

And suddenly no recollections remain in his head

Gone is his heart, replaced by someone else

In fact, Amir thinks his love might as well be dead

Very quickly does Malkia force them to retreat

Each team gets a task, then they part ways

You might think Not-Rupert would be scared or confused

Of course, Amir’s shocked when that is not the case

Understanding the danger, Amir still doesn't relax when

Upendo gives them a chance through a potion

"Princes need help too," says Not-Rupert, insistent

No choice but to let him join Amir's mission

Venom of a hydra, a unicorn's horn, and

Enchanting siren's song to destroy the queen's power

Rupert, er, Fitz, as they agree he be called

Goes despite Amir not wanting him in danger

Obfuscation and subterfuge bag them the horn

Nice, polite manners, though,  _ Fitz,  _ were worth a shot

No match for Fitz's wits are the hydra's riddles

A trick question's answered by a "Why not?"

Lorelei's song stops Amir in his tracks

Entranced and dazed for a moment by her beauty 

Till her attention turns to a certain someone not affected

Yet he fakes it almost enough to convince his husband-to-be

One item left, he's almost convinced her

Until Percy's troops come in to poison the sirens

Dauntless, the two princes fight off the attackers

One song, Lorelei rewards for saving them

When they return, they defeat Malkia, save their kingdom, and get Rupert's memories back

No, my pacing's not weird, what on earth are you talking about?

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, an acrostic rickroll, so original.
> 
> ...I swear I'm a (semi-)serious writer.


End file.
